Our national day ... when we all throw a lamb chop on the barbie and drink too many tinnies, play cricket in the street and argue about the words of the second verse of the national anthem. There's lamingtons and pavlova for afters, and someone unearths a flag and wears it like a superhero cape. Ahhh, so much fun!
You know you're Australian when...
You know that Burger King doesn't exist. It's Hungry Jacks.
You know that snow is a memorable and freakish occurrence. Sometimes it's even fake.
You know the difference between thongs and a thong.
You know that "stubbies" are either short shorts or small beer bottles, a "gimp", "bogan" or "geezer" is a random idiot, someone in trouble is in "strife" and you're liable to burst into giggles whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, aggro, or -ie: barbie, ciggie, quickie, tinnie, mossie, bickie, budgie, chockie, cozzie etc
You know that some people pronounce "Australia" like "Strayla" and that's ok.
You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere... no matter where you actually are.
You know that while we call our friends 'mates', we don't use terms like 'sheilas' and 'shrimp on the barbie', contrary to popular belief.
You kind of resent people who succeed over others- everyone should do the same thing, so we all get a "fair go"; a kind of 'American-dream' in reverse. You call it the "tall poppy syndrome".
You've seen Gallipoli, Crocodile Dundee, Young Einstein, Muriel's Wedding, The Castle, Priscilla, Beneath Clouds, Strictly Ballroom, 40,000 Horsemen, and maybe even Wolf Creek.
It makes you happy when someone in Hollywood is actually Australian... Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Baz Lurham, Elle MacPherson, Olivia Newton-John, Midnight Oil, AC/DC, INXS, Greg Norman, Cathy Freeman, Dawn Fraser, Pat Rafter, Ian Thorpe...
One word: Skippy.
You know that Sydney 2000 was one of our proudest moments in history. We just rock!
You know our country has never been conquered by a foreign nation (you don't count 1788).
We know that the Metric system will always be better than anything inches, feet, pounds and Fahrenheit will ever offer
You drive on the 'left-hand side' of the road.
If you're a pedestrian and cars are stopped at a red light, you will fearlessly cross the street in front of them. 'Hit and runs' just aren't cricket because Aussies stick together.
You think of Australia as being somewhat out of place within the Asia-Pacific region; surrounded by unstable ex-colonial nations who regard you as racist, imperialist, and unfairly wealthy.
You know that New Zealanders are basically our naive country cousins, who have a weird fush-and-chups accent, and for some bizarre reason, think that they invented pavlova. They are to be pitied and laughed at. They have no hope of gaining the upper hand in the endless sporting rivalry between our two nations. But we love 'em.
You know that you can't eat Fantales alone... otherwise who will you play the 'Who am I...' game with when you're reading the wrapper? And you know that Jaffas are for rolling down the aisles at the pictures.
You know that Americans think we're all Steve Irwin clones, and crikey mate, they couldn't be more wrong.
You know that lawyers wear wigs and gowns. And we make it look good.
You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread... and actually grow to like it. You've also squeeze Vegemite through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny.
You have the ability to compress several words into one - ie 'g'day' and 'd'reckn?'. This allows more space for profanities.
You've ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
You know that the barbeque is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man, and women make the salad.
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You know what fairy bread tastes like, and you can't imagine your childhood without it.
You know the first verse to the national anthem, but still don't know what "girt" means, and you're ok with that.
You've drunk your tea/coffee/Milo through a Tim Tam.
You know that backyard cricket is a nice way to bond with family and the rubbish bin. And the 'one bounce, one hand' rule always applies.
You know that we are home to the just about all of the world's deadliest of animals. That's why if anybody messes with us we'll get some funnel webs on their arses.
You see people walking bare-foot on the sidewalk and don't scorn.... because you're doing it too.
You know what trop-fest is and it makes you happy.
Sausage rolls and meat pies. End of story.
You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be ok and have offered advice that included the words, "she'll be right, mate".
You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.
You've ordered a steak the size as your head and only paid $5 at your local RSL.
You know how to slip, slop, slap like it's nobody's business.
You've heard the Prime Minister dismiss anyone who disagrees with him/her simply as 'un-Australian', and that's enough to make us sit down and shut up.
And right now you feel bloody awesome. Fully sick, maaaaate!
HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY!!!
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